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A news article in the lifestyle section (yup lifestyle, sheeesh) of ABS-CBN online came out touting the benefits of masturbation. This ridiculous article entitled “Masturbation Good for your Health?”, was picked up from a handout of the McKinley Health Center of the University of Illinois at Urban Champaign (ABS-CBN must have run out of lousy stuff to write about so they decided to go even lower).

THe handout itself is a Q&A about masturbation and quotes from the sex-revolution founder, pedophile par-excellence and child sexual abuser-pseudoscientist, Alfred Kinsey and the sex-crazed, abortion provider and multi-billion dollar blood-corporation, Planned Parenthood Federation of America.

Here is where it gets ridiculous:

Among the touted “benefits” are…  (anyone think they sound like someone selling snake-oil)


1. alleviates premenstrual tension for many women. ( …Oh wait I think I’m PMS-ing so excuse me while I masturbate to relieve the tension)

2. provides a healthy sexual outlet for people who choose to abstain from sex with partners or who do not currently have available sexual partners.( …Whew, Isn’t it comforting to know that I have “you guys” to keep me company …neurosis ring a bell? )


3. can be a route to safer sex, to help prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections, including HIV.(…Sex, really?? how can it be a form of sex, it’s with your hand, stupid …Prevent pregnancy?, what, you’ll put a glove on your hand when it’s ovulating? … prevent STD/HIV…hmmm, okay I’ll wash my hand before I touch myself, don’t want to get that… the stupidity and the lies just floor me!)

4. allows for sexual pleasuring for those who are not ready to engage in vaginal, anal or oral sex ( …I think I’ll just practice and practice and practice, oops not yet ready, need more practice)

5. Increases blood flow in the genital region ( …Yeah, I guess that’s pretty important if you do most of your thinking with your genitals)

6. can induce sleep (…So can exercising, taking a shower before bed, camomile tea, melatonin, reading …”doctor I can’t sleep”. Doctor: “Well take two masturbations before going to bed and call me in the morning”… daang)

7. allows people to become familiar and comfortable with their body (…Whoa, ‘da heck is that in my groin, never saw that before …I, I think I bought a body one size too small, hmmm not to worry, just do the M thing and you’ll fit right in and be comfortable in the morning)

8. is often suggested as a therapeutic technique for overcoming sexual dysfunction ( …Oh honey if you can’t get an erection or you can’t do it, I’ll wait while you exercise that part and get it up to standards …really?)

9. it can help them learn how to achieve orgasm ( …and then you can have that cigarette while you’re conversing with your hand)

10. increase ejaculatory control and manage rapid or delayed ejaculation ( …whoa missed the target there, adjust 10 degrees down angle elevation and fire at will for effect)


11. alleviate stress (…man I lost my job and my finances are in shambles, well not to worry I can always masturbate and everything will be all right)


What’s so idiotic about this handout and ABS-CBN carrying it is that in reality, it’s a spin by those abortion specialists at PPFA to create and normalize a disordered lifestyle.

When one engages in masturbation, the necessary means of arousal has got to be a form of pornography or fantasizing. This puts one’s self at risk of a kind of fantasy fulfillment pattern (neurosis) whom others have termed, sexual or porn addiction.


The handout above states that this is not harmful behavior but think about it: The fantasy one indulges in, is fueled by an industry (pornography) that is highly exploitive and abusive of men and women. In addition, it has been shown that this “industry” is intimately tied up with illegal drug and substance abuse. (Read THIS)  So while these people want you to think that masturbation is harmless, it is simply that the people harmed by this is hidden from view, a kind of “collateral damage.”

The Church classifies masturbation in the same category as pornography or as offenses against chastity. The Catechism has this to say:

Offenses against chastity

2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.

2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. “Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.138 “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of “the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.”139

To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability.

2353 Fornication is carnal union between an unmarried man and an unmarried woman. It is gravely contrary to the dignity of persons and of human sexuality which is naturally ordered to the good of spouses and the generation and education of children. Moreover, it is a grave scandal when there is corruption of the young.

2354 Pornography consists in removing real or simulated sexual acts from the intimacy of the partners, in order to display them deliberately to third parties. It offends against chastity because it perverts the conjugal act, the intimate giving of spouses to each other. It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants (actors, vendors, the public), since each one becomes an object of base pleasure and illicit profit for others. It immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world. It is a grave offense. Civil authorities should prevent the production and distribution of pornographic materials.

The above-mentioned handout is referenced from:

Masturbation-From Stigma to Sexual Health. The White Paper, Planned Parenthood Federation of America (2002). http://www.plannedparenthood.org
Barbach, Lonnie. (2000, 1976). For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality
Dodson, Betty (1995). Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving.
Cornog, Martha (2003). The Big Book of Masturbation.
Masturbation: From myth to sexual health. (2003) Contemporary Sexuality, 37, 3, pp. i-vii.
Komisaruk, B., Beyer-Flores, C., and Whipple, B. The Science of Orgasm Baltimore: Johns Hopkins University Press, 2006.

Don’t be taken for a fool. Next time someone shows you this kind of spin and shows you the “research” behind it, find out who the researchers are, who paid for it and what their agenda is.